Gathering the Jews to dispersing them

Hello My Fellow Blog Readers,

I can not stress how I am sorry for my lack of posting in the last several months. My life has been set on auto-pilot without my consent and things just went into hyper-drive. My job is quite demanding, but overall I am enjoying having the responsibility in leading/managing a medical communications/drug safety department for one of the leading generics companies in the world. (Sorry Client Confidentiality, but I am sure if you do your research, you will know who I refer to.)
I finally had found an apartment in the area to settle some roots for the next time frame I will be working here. I am situated in the wonderful area of Clarendon, part of Arlington, VA. I literally can walk 2 miles north and I am in Georgetown of DC. I have beautiful views of the Washington Monument and the Capitol Building all from my condo's rooftop deck along with bbq grills, lounge chairs, pool, jacuzzi and gym. (Have I enticed you yet to visit?) Clarendon is full of great shopping, dining, and a metro stop to DC; all within walking distance from my building which makes it ideal for a true New Yorker relocating here.

With that said, I have to say that the dating pool is quite slim picking for what I am looking for. I had went to a Jewish mixer back around October Sukkot time frame in DC Proper at a bar called Lost Society. It was set up by an organization called Gather the Jews. Props for them getting a pretty decent turn out to what I can only equivocate to a mere 10% of what a NYC event usually would gather. As I make my round of walking along the perimeter of the lounge, I scope out the scene to see what I am working with. Obviously the ratio of females to males is larger. And then I notice a guy that I had one awkward date with during my first month of being down in the area. He was such an awkward guy and he didn't even offer to pay for the 2 drinks that we had during happy hour. Also, he didn't even walk me to my car or text me to see if I got back to apartment safely. He did text me a few days later trying to make small talk, but my mind was already made up. To say the least, I avoided him all night. If he was on the terrace bar, I was inside by the bar and vice versa.

I had a chance to chat with the young Rabbi who is running the organization. I thought I would be able to get a better sense of what the DC/NOVA area has in store for a single young professional Jews. To my shock, he swayed me away from any hope of finding a decent single Jewish guy. (Even though the purpose of this event was geared towards being a singles mixer.) He stated that people come here to work and then leave. There are no true roots like the New York City scene has.

As I politely exited the conversation, I went to the bar to grab a drink to numb the thoughts of not meeting any decent person even if it is as a friend. As I am sitting and ordering my drink, two gentlemen approach to ask me a question. The shorter bald guy asks, "If the guy lives in Baltimore, would you give him a chance and go out on a date?" I gave it a serious thought, and my response was, "Well it's only 40 miles. If the person is worth the effort, the distance will not make a difference. So why not give it a chance. I am sure we can meet half way or take turns traveling." The two men laugh and the short bald guy says, "I am not sure if you are way too nice or just really crazy." They continue to ask several other questions about dating and distance to which I provide genuine answers that I would truly do. I begin to realize this conversation will go no where but just more ridicule to being an optimistic romantic. The short bald guy continues to state that he will only date someone within 3 mile radius and that is even pushing it. I tell him that I currently reside in Arlington which is 3.4 miles from where we were (as per my Uber receipt). He immediately says, "Well this isn't going to work." As they walk away, I down my drink and make a dash for the door and grab an Uber back to my side of the Potomac River.

As I curl up on my lovely couch typing away this post, I ponder the thoughts of, "Is it me?" "Am I too New York jaded for this DC Proper crowd?" "Am I really ready to meet someone?"
I continue to keep a positive vibe towards all the life changes and experiences I am having while living down here. I am also making the best effort to see my NYC family and friends on the weekends.
Plenty more stories and experiences to come, till then, live life for the moment because everything else is uncertain.

Besos,
Dr. IK

Chronicles of the Blue Fedora: Takes on The Nation's Capital

Hello My Fellow Readers,

My apologies for my brief hiatus over the last month or two. Not only had I been kept from writing on this blog, I also minimized all my social media postings only keeping it to a few sporadic event postings. Life has taken me to go places and challenged me to do things that I did not expect. I’ve been keeping it on the down low with few friends knowing or figuring out where my life has taken me. Now, that I am sitting at my favorite café back in my hometown for the weekend, I have a moment to breathe and take in the last months escapades and changes. I have taken a job and moved to the North Virginia (NoVa)/ DC Capital area of the country. To keep it brief, it is no New York City. My mother’s first reaction to my decision to take this great job was, “Look at all the amazing new Tinder/Jswipe matches you will have. Just be careful, there are a lot of spies and secret agents that live and work in the area.” To which all I could do was to put my head in my hands in awe. Low and behold, she was right. All of this has provided me with new experiences I would love to share on this platform with only a month into the life down there.

Past the Washington Monument, at 1 O'Clock, the tall building on the other side of the river is Arlington, VA where I will be residing.

Currently, I am living out of a hotel close to my offices and coming close to finding an apartment in the Arlington (Clarendon) neighborhood. (Can’t wait to invite you all.) Being in a hotel, provides me some interesting people watching of who comes in and out for just a night, a weekend, or like me, weekly. The roadies of the business world are used to the lifestyle and I am just getting into my grooves. On my first week in town, I headed over to Arlington to scope out the various neighborhoods where I would want to seek shelter more permanently. A necessity for me is to have some sort of Brooklyn/Manhattan vibe where I can leave my car after work and just walk to some restaurants, bars, grocery shopping etc. Arlington in the main areas has that. I also want to see a population mostly of people in my age range. Again, Arlington has that all without being in what they call “DC Proper”. I pop into a place called Kona Grill where it is packed for happy hour. I grab a drink and just people watch and get friendly with the bartender. As I explain my story of how I ended up there, he begins to introduce me to a few of the locals who are at the bar socializing. Like my mother warned me about, my first interaction were with 2 older gentlemen who previously lived in NYC. One is VP of Premier Relationship Advisors working for a high profile bank and his buddy is a retired Federal Agent who used to be the lead investigator/spy on the Castellano Crime Family in Staten Island. My jaw almost dropped since my parent’s home in Staten Island is 2 blocks from there. They were reminiscing of the old school NYC lives they had. Great story telling session. They gave me some advice on what to look for here and what neighborhoods are best. As we parted ways, we all exchanged business cards and plan to meet again and welcome me to the neighborhood.

The following week, I decided to begin changing my location settings on my dating apps. I was giving it a chance to see what the market is out there. After chatting with several men (or boys I should say better), one finally had the courage to ask me out. We met at a restaurant called Marble & Rye for happy hour, which he was adamant we make it for. He came dressed in khaki long board shorts and Hawaiian style button down shirt untucked. We grabbed a drink and sat talking outside on the patio. He was a transplant from Cali living in the area for the past year. He gave me his whole life story without so much delving in to ask me about mine. As we began to wrap up the date, (to which we order no food and I had not had any nourishment since 12pm consisting of a probiotic kombucha beverage) we come up to the bar to ask for the bill. Me, being a good respectful working class girl, I reach into my wallet as a friendly gesture to offer to pay as well. He actually accepts to split the bill. Again, another jaw dropper (this time more so of a mental check). I graciously hand over my credit card. He hugs me good night, not walking me to my car and we part ways. He did not text me to see if I got to my hotel. However the next day he did try to have small talk via text. I guess the NoVa/DC area has some odd balls out here.

These first two interactions with people south of NYC has truly given me a feel of that men regardless of where you are, are roughly the same. I may be speaking of small consensus at the moment. Hopefully over time the quality will get better and the stories will get juicier. Till then, The Blue Fedora is signing out and enjoying this amazing weather and hanging out with some close friends.

Besos,

Dr. IK 

It's been 5 hours, when will this date end???!!!

Brighton Beach Sunset Walks

Happy Thirsty Thursday to my fellow readers! 

Thank you for the continuous love and support in all capacities that has been pouring in these past months in having me embark on sharing my life dating stories and insights on fitness and life. I know I may have appeared M.I.A. in the past month with my writing. It is not because I had nothing juicy to share, but I was more so focused on a few other things in play currently in my life. 

So, with that said, I did get to experience a crazy date recently. I've been perusing the variety of Jewish dating apps. Scroll, scroll, swipe, swipe is the name of the game. I match with many people, but it's not often that a conversation truly sparks from it. This guy, a.k.a Phillip, was quite interesting on paper and based on our messaging conversation and phone conversations we decided we should meet in person. I was already out in the city on a beautiful Sunday afternoon watching one of the UEFA Cup Soccer matches at one of my favorite French Bistro spots "Felix", located in SoHo. (It was a French match, so you know how it goes...Allez le bleu! #RoseAllDay) I told Phillip to meet me at the SoHo location and from there we can walk or go anywhere. He agreed, but half way into his commute, he requests we change locations due to traffic (or just no desire of his to come into the city) and asks if we can meet on the Brighton Beach Boardwalk. (Now, I have a bit of a repulse for having first dates in territories populated by the Russian Jewish Community. It is the fact that there is a 99% chance I will be bumping into someone I know, or someone that knows me through my parents. I just want the time focused on the two of us without any outside factors. I don't need anyone reporting back to my parents yet who exactly I went out with and getting their opinions mixed in with it. Plus, I want to get out people's comfort zones of familiarity and common go to date spots.)

The Yenta's that scout juicy gossip for the Page Six of the NY Post

I give into his request and leave the city to head over to Brighton Beach, Brooklyn. We meet around 5:30pm; grab a drink at the Starbucks and walk onto the boardwalk. We walk and talk the entire length back and forth putting a good few miles on our feet. Let me rephrase that, my date talked the entire time. He touched on topics such as drug addiction, drug addicted friends of his that need help, all about his family, as well as dropping on me that he has a 12 year old daughter he sees sometimes. I don't think I even had a chance to respond more than notions of head nodding and the words "okay, aha, yea." It was around 9pm, when he believes that he had not done enough talking and that we should continue to Sheepshead Bay. We hop in my car since he did not want to move his car and head over to "Zee Bay". We begin to stroll down Emmons Avenue and bump into my good friend Cathy and her father who’s visiting from out of town. We stop and have a quick chit chat. I introduce them to the gentleman I am out with and attempt a quick but friendly parting of ways (The Irish Exit would not work in this situation. HaHa) We walk over to Opera Cafe and says we should sit outside from some tea and dessert. It is already 10pm. This guy has spent almost 5 hours with me and I am starving but do not want to sit and eat with this guy for an additional 5 hours. He now finally gives me a chance to speak and the one question he starts with is, "So, as you can see, I am ready again to settle down and have more kids. Are you ready for something serious of a relationship?" I was speechless. I gather my thoughts and reply back, "For me, dating at the current time I am at, is not about one and done. Am I ready for kids and marriage, but only time will tell as the dating chemistry and relationship with the right person grows. It needs to be organic; not forced or jumped into right away."

After his analytical stare down of me, he states that I am in no way fully ready to date or be with someone. I decide this date has to come to an end. We finally leave. I drive him to his car. I graciously thank him for the evening and part ways. 

The next day, Phillip calls to check in on me and ask what I thought of him honestly and if I would like to begin dating seriously. He found me quite interesting and had to listen to me very attentively more than any other girl he had dated. He said I actually brought interesting discussions to the table than previous girls. (I am baffled to that statement, since I may had spoken only a handful of times throughout the evening.) I reply that even though I enjoyed our evening the other night (Since we walked about 4.5 miles. Wahoo for exercise), I just do not see myself going out with someone who associates himself with friends who have drug addictions. As much as he is trying to do well and help them get out of the addiction, it still can drag a person down into the wrong path. I also did mention to him that I commend him for being such a good parent even through the divorce, but I am personally not ready to take on the responsibility of being a parent figure before I am married just yet. It was sprung up on me and it was something that would take time for me to adjust into. Before I could even mention another word, he says thanks and hangs up. I sent him a text saying, if there is someone I can think of that better matches for him, I would surely try to match them up with him. He was a good guy, but just not for me. 

Dating in the current time, you going to bump into all different characters and personalities. It's just about finding the one that you mesh with. Good Luck on your hunt and stay tuned for some juicy stories. 

Besos, 

Dr. K 

Boca Problems

Hydrating on the beach with some vino while typing away for the blog. #bocaproblems

Happy Monday Fellow Readers,

Hope your Monday is as relaxed and carefree as mine. I have been enjoying myself for the past week down in sunny Boca Raton, Florida. Yes, many of you think of senior citizens driving convertibles with really young women in the passenger seat; or if no female in tow, than they are dragging an oxygen tank behind them and making it for the early bird specials. And yes, for the most part you are right. However, over the past 7 years, there certainly has been a real estate boom down here. We are seeing more and more young professionals and married couples with kids flourish into the neighborhoods and change the dynamic and pace of this now bustling town. My parents have owned property here for many years and I am so thankful that they let me utilize the place whenever I had wanted a quick getaway from the NYC everyday hustle and bustle. I am also happy that they had purchased up in Boca vs. the typical Russian-based areas of Sunny Isles and Hallandale Beach, all part of North Miami Beach scene. The purpose is to get away from those I see often up in NYC, not bump into them or their grandparents down in South Florida. (But slowly they are progressing up north here too.)

The past few years, I manage to come down here when I am single and comfortable enough to show some skin. With that said, I take the chance of seeking love wherever I travel. So, I change my dating app geo-location settings to seek some fun in the sun. I was chatting with several potential guys that trip. One guy was an ex-NYC guy, whose was Jon. He was definitely on the top of my list of the guys I began talking with. I also met this one guy, Eugene on OKCupid. He was a Russian Jew who has been living in Palm Beach County for many years. He was the first to pull the trigger and set up a Jamba Juice date on a Thursday. I thought it was cute and niche and not your typical run of the mill bar scene which can get monotonous. After a few hours of talking and getting to know each other, he invited me for a Friday night Shabbat meal at a YJP (Young Jewish Professional) meet-up group based here in the Palm Beach area as well as to go Salsa dancing afterwards at a latin night club in Delray Beach area post Shabbat. I accepted his invitation for the Shabbat meal, however stated to let us see how the night progresses and if we still wanted to go salsa dancing. I was so excited to meet other YJPs outside of NYC and see how they run their programs. As well as, just in general to meet more possibly single men that I had not yet seen on these dating apps.

So, I get myself ready and bring a bottle of wine even though Eugene said he would take care of it. We meet in front of the Jewish center and walk in. As we walk in, I notice Jon standing and greeting other people walking. Apparently, he is one of the organizers of this particular YJP meet up group. Well, didn't I just put myself in the oddest predicament. He immediately approached me and was quite happy to see me here. However, he was not quite happy to see me walk in, with apparently his arch nemesis, the Russian, Eugene. As the evening progressed, I saw myself hanging out with Jon and his crowd of friends versus Eugene and his circle of friends. I enjoyed the diversity and more confident type of folks that Jon had around him. Eugene's group of people were just like him; Russian, older, and were there for the free food. (I am not joking. lol) Jon asked me if I would like to join him and his friends after the meal. They were heading to Mizner Park (The local main street drag with plenty of high end shops, restaurants, and bars.) I liked that he was trying to bring me into this South Florida circle and not just ditch his friends for a night out with me. We all had a great time hanging out at Max's Grille on the street patio having some drinks and just going with the flow. I was sure if there was some chemistry between the two of us, he would invite me on a date separately another night. So, I ditched the Russian, Eugene for the American, Jon. Eugene continued to call several times later that trip to take me salsa dancing, but I was just not that into him and told him gently over the phone.

Over the next few days, Jon and I went out a few times. We had a dinner and a movie date. We also met up again with another few of his friends as well as a night back at his place where we just had some wine and dessert at his newly renovated home. We stayed in touch over the years and each time I come down, we meet up and hang out. It never really developed into anything big, but I have to say, it is nice to have a friend in town to grab some drinks and catch up on the South Florida young Jewish gossip.

What can I say is, take a chance on the dating app. Don't be afraid to change your geo-location and set up some fun dates. Who knows, maybe my soulmate isn't waiting back home in NYC for me, but somewhere traveling the globe and one of us is just one swipe away from bumping into each other.

Till Then, Ciao peeps,

#BocaProblems #BocaSolutions

Dr. K

And I thought all men love meat and alcohol...

Hello Blog Readers, 

First off, I would like to thank everyone who has reached out to me with words of praise on my recent TV debut on the Rachael Ray Show. I had been keeping it under wraps, but now that it has aired and on repeat, I can finally say that it was such a great experience. I would also like to thank everyone as well on the praise and comments on this blog I am writing. I love what I am sharing and happy to see that it is getting the attention that it is. Please continue to spread the word and if anyone would like to book me for anymore TV or public speaking events, please reach out to me. 

I thought I would tell you today about a date I had earlier this year that made me do a double take and internally curl up in a ball. So, I met this guy online (duh, because how else do people meet these days.) We start chatting up and talking about likes of music and various NYC events that we both would want to attend. He finally asks me out and I agree. He says he has tickets to an opera performance that the Manhattan School of Music is putting on in Riverside in the city and would love to take me. Now, as you are reading this, you are probably thinking, "Whoa, Ilana, this is going to be good."  And just like the rest of you, I had the same original impression. 

The day finally comes and I get myself dolled up for the evening. I hop in an uber to get uptown to the venue. He greets me out front and we walk in together and grab our seats. As the soloist begins her aria, he whispers to me asking if I enjoy the woman's voice. I tell him, she is really good. He goes on to tell me that he knows her and that they used to date back in the day but now have remained friends. Well, as you can imagine I compose myself well throughout the performance to just brush that comment to the side. (But really, who brings a date to see their ex perform?) The opera ends and says that he had planned we can grab some dinner after the performance. I agree and we walk over to a local Italian spot he knows. It was completely packed and the wait time was over an hour. (Gentlemen: Please make reservations. It will cause less hardship and totally impress us that you planned in advance.) I pull out my phone and suggest several other restaurants nearby. My date then goes on to say, "Well, as long as there are vegetarian options since I am vegetarian, and Oh, by the way I don't drink alcohol either." I think I stuttered and almost tripped in my step when he said those words. I know my personal trainer at this point is jumping for joy and would be saying this guy is a keeper. As we walk the streets to the other restaurant, I start to analyze everything that may progress further down the line if we continue to date more and more. I begin to think I would be okay with the guy being a vegetarian. He is health conscious and I think I could manage most days to stick to a plant based diet, but sneak at work for lunch some animal proteins. I like my meat. (Hey, no dirty thoughts people! LoL) But, what about the 2nd issue, he does not drink alcohol. How I am suppose to go out without having an alcoholic beverage? I mean, I am not an alcoholic, but alcohol has been used in dating for so long. It has become a dating norm to go out and meet up. I enjoy a fine wine or cocktail from time to time. But, on the other hand, he would always be "DD" and I would never have to worry how we would get home. I would feel safe. I should be respectful, and I was. On our date, I stuck to having a vegetarian meal and no alcohol all evening. The conversation was fine talking about our respective careers, families and commonalities. I did ask his reasons for being vegetarian and not drinking alcohol. He had very legit reasons to which I respect his choices. But the more we chatted, the more my head was stuck on those 2 life choices. I had already forgotten the fact that we went to see his ex girlfriend perform in an opera as a first date. 

As the gentlemen that he was, he called an uber for me to take me home. But the gentlemen that he was on the date, was not the same gentlemen post date. As like many men I have run into these days, they are nice and sweet on the date but forget the follow-up. Yet again, we left things as it was that night and I never heard back from him. Another phantom ghost disappears into the night. In the end, it was probably for the better. I know for myself it would have been a difficult thing for me to adjust to someone who is a non-alcoholic AND vegetarian, but for love you make things work. The lesson I learned from this date was that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover. It's what's inside that matters. Take the time and listen to the story. Do not cross them off your list right away. There are ways to make things work. It can be a challenge, but it also can be beneficial. 

Besos, 

Ilana 

Tips to Dating in the Current Millenium from someone who is in the depths of it like you.

Dear Fellow Blog Readers,

Dating in today's time is way different from when our parents were held for auction to the highest bid or even from ten years ago, when people still met in public and were not afraid to be approached by another individual to spark a conversation. Current times revolve around the digital space. I barely see any of my friends letting me know that they a really good guy for me to meet and introduce us. If the connection did not happen via some sort of dating app platform, than you never met.The internet even has found ways for people to find friends via online (eg. Bumble BFF). Seriously, it is truly sad, but, at the same time "Mad Genius".

With evolution to this digital life there are pros and cons. Let me provide you a short list. Preface, these are just my opinions. I am not speaking for anyone but myself. You all can formulate your own opinion.

Pros:

• Creates a larger network/pool of possible dates from your original circle of friends.
• You no longer truly have to go through a blind date. Profiles/pictures are easily accessible to give you a glimpse of who you are about to be sitting across on your date.
• I can date anywhere around the world with a swipe of a screen. (From vacations to a business trip, I've had my share of dates and company out for dinner and drinks.)
• Filter your options to your preferences of an ideal match. (If you want a 6'2'', brown hair, blue eyes, Brooklyn Hipster, that plays the Kazoo; then Amen, filter away to narrow your search.)
• If your mother asks if you are dating, you can easily show your cell phone full of various dating apps that you are on. You can even have her swipe for you.

Cons:

• Your judging a book by its cover way too fast, even before you meet up.
• One wrong swipe to the left, and you've lost your chances of seeing if there was a mutual interest.
• WAY WAY WAY TOO MANY OPTIONS- Guys (and even girls) have developed a mentality that they have an exuberant amount of choices. And so, if there is at least one minor flaw in the person they had a date with, they just move onto the next one.
• GHOSTING- Enough said there. (I could go on about this one, but I am sure you all have had a fair share of stories that either someone has ghosted you and you have ghosted others.) 

I wish this was not just my thought process, but check out this article in the Huffington Post. I think this hits the nail on the head regarding the current dating market of mine. Four Reasons Why You Can't Find a Nice Jewish Boy (My brother sent me this article and it just verified my current situation.)

The current question on everyone's mind in the single pool, how does one find love? Let's rephrase this. How does one find someone who likes you and wants to see you on an ongoing basis, that after 3 dates does not go running off to the next person on their dating app list that they matched with? Well I have a few tips and suggestions to help you continue your search for the "one".

Tips for Millenial Dater

• Most Important Thing I Could Tell You: Never give up hope. Things in life happen for a reason. The reason you are currently single is that it is meant to be and that greatness is coming. (I just can't tell you when, but it will happen, you will know it and everything will work out for the reasons that they do. There is a time and place for everything.)

• 2nd Most Important Thing:Work on yourself. While you have time to peruse the dating apps for potential suitors, you might as well also spend time perfecting yourself. This will be the only time that you can truly work on making yourself a better version of yourself without having to divide your focus on another individual. Take the time to workout, read, write, pick up a new hobby, build your career, venture out into the world solo and just do things that make YOU happy. I can go on and on about how my personal life as a single millenial adult in these times has been amazing. From transforming my body image/weight; to my ups and downs in my pharmaceutical career; to my adventures of travel; to the crazy dates I have had around the world. You do things to keep you busy and make them fun. Yes, you will have times that you think, "Ugh, I wish I had someone to do this with." But, you shouldn't worry about that. You are on your own pace in life and no one elses. So make the best of it. YOLO!

• Evolve with the time. Everyone is currently on the dating app bandwagon and it has come to existence with the evolution of the digital era. I tried to stay away from it for quite some time and eventually swallowed my pride and joined the circus. (Haha. That is the best way to describe the dating app pool. It is a circus full of varieties of acts. Spread yourself out on a few key dating apps that suit you. Yes, it may feel like work a bit and it is. No one said life comes easy. Everything involves a bit of work. Also, try to keep up with the dating app trends. Try out different apps and give it some time to see what type of people are also using them. As much as you will see the same folks across all platforms there may be a few newbies that you had not seen before. You'd be surprised that many times I may had not matched with someone on one app but on a different they were more likely to match and even reach out and start a conversation. 

• Pictures speak value. Everyone is quick to judge a book by its cover, so it is important to have a really good photo that stands out. I'm not saying you have to pose nude or be super provocative in your photos, but they need to be clear, concise, and truthful to who you are. You don't need to have 30 photos posted. No more than 5 photos and most of them of just you. I personally can not stand when the first photo I see is a group photo of 5 guys. (Soooo, which one am I going to go out with?) Your profile photo should be a recent single full body shot of you. Another photo should be you being active or a hobby you enjoy doing. Their should be some diversity in your pictures to show different sides of your character. Yes, this also means ever so often you need to update your profile photos to keep your profile up to date. If you must have a group photo, limit it to only one and it can not be your main profile picture.

• Put some effort into yourself. I know we can all get stuck in this rut of going on one off dates that lead no where and so you stop caring about how you look. You think, that the other person should like you for who you are. You need to put your mindset that you never know if this one date can lead to something greater. So, with that said, put some effort in that day to what your appearance is. A nice outfit (for both sexes) and a touch of make up (for females) can just add a bit of  "oomph". Also, ladies, I know when I put on a sexy lingerie set, it brings my mood up and makes me shine from the outside as well. I am not saying you are going to show it off to the guy that first date, but, it does allow me to be a bit more confident, sexy, and flirty. Guys, please do not come in your gym clothing to the date. Try to be presentable. Keep it simple with clean jeans or slacks with a button down and a blazer. Effort needs to be made from both parties.

• Get out of the same dating rut. Organize a fun date. I've gone through the motions like everyone else. The first date, we grab drinks after work somewhere convenient for the both of you. If there is commonality and the conversation is flowing, then we move drinks into dinner. If there is a next date, then we may end up doing the same thing over and over for sometime We may even "Netflix and Chill" back at one of the apartments. Well, I am tired of the alcohol and food (Even though how does one say no to yummy drinks and tasty food with good company). People, let's get creative. A date does not always have to revolve around boozing and getting a bit tipsy so we can be relaxed and in the zone for inhibition. Obviously the first few dates you are getting to know each other so you want to have an opportunity to hear each other's life stories, wants and needs. Well, that can be done in various settings with or without alcohol. Make it fun and interesting instead of the same old boring spots that are conveniently close to your apartments. Venture out and explore your neighboring neighborhoods. Take the opportunity to get out of your comfort zones. Find a commonality or something you both have not done before, or even something you want to show the other person that you enjoy. A date does not need to be expensive. It should be creative or at least showing you are trying to put some effort and thought behind it. If you can not think of anything, here are a few suggestions:
•  Walk the HighLine or any neighborhood with a cup of coffee or scoop of gelato. (Totally cheap but impressive).
•  Go to a jazz club (Subrosa has latin jazz, Rose Bar at the Gramercy Hotel and The Django Room at the Roxy Hotel gets some great jazz groups like Brian Newman coming through their doors several times a week.)
• Head over to Chelsea Piers for some swings on the Golf Range or take up some Rocking Climbing. (Show them how you can handle physical activity will get you both charged for other physical activity if it progresses)
• Get a table at a Comedy Club. (Every night of the week there are varieties of comedy shows going on from Comedy Cellar to the Upright Citizens Brigade etc.) 
• Spend time during the day like a Sunday brunch or riding a bike or checking out a museum or walking through a street fair. (Seeing someone during the day vs. night changes plenty. You may actually see what they look like for once. Haha...Usually we are sitting in a dimly lit setting, so you may not notice something about their physical appearance or even personality that may catch your attention.

• Give people a chance. This is quite hard to do with this digital time we are living in currently. We swipe left waayyy too fast, and many times before reading their profiles. We are all at fault for doing this. We are judging people too quickly and moving on before the other person has a chance to prove you wrong. Just because they have a deviated septum and make an odd breathing sound, does not mean their personality is genuine and they care for you in a way someone had not previously. Just because he may not have an ideal job you expected your partner to have, does not mean down the road, he may miraculously get that promotion or invent a crazy new device that will have him rolling in dollars and sailing the Mediterranean in a luxury yacht. NO ONE IS PERFECT. EVERYONE HAS FLAWS. A profile is just a few words to wet our palates. The true test will be to meet in person and take it from there. Ask your parents about when they dated, and how they still fell in love with their spouses despite certain flaws. How did they deal with the pet peeves or annoying habits or career hiccups? They worked through them and made compromises for each other. Our generation has to stop having so many deal breakers. You need to have a few that are just serious deal breakers and the rest are just minor things you can deal with. 

• Be Yourself! There is no point of pretending to be someone who you are not. Make sure you keep your profile honest and truthful about you. We all like to go on vacations and frolic on a beach than work. I get it, but maybe you should also add in your profile that you like to ride a unicycle and play the saxophone. When your on your date, stick to being you and not liking everything they say. If your a Republican and he is a Democrat, that's okay. Opposites attract. Eventually the other person will see past the act. You will be lucky if they question it and stay with you. Most will just walk away and move onto the next one because there is plenty for the picking in this digital market. They will be a few swipes away from finding their next dinner date.

There you have it. I, myself, try to stick to these tips. I have seen some great changes in my dating history when I apply a lot of this in my life. I have some other dating tips that I'll give you at a future times, but I felt these sum up a good chunk in the problem I see in today's dating game. 

So, take the time to reassess what you want at the moment. Update your profiles a tad to sound more like yourself and less like everyone else. When you snag a mutual swipe and begin conversation, move it to meeting in person and take the time to dress up and be in a good mood. You never know where it can lead to. Don't get discouraged if the date was not ideal. Give people the benefit of the doubt and give it another date. Maybe the second date you will learn something more about them that you did not discover the first night. And if you mutually agree it did not work out, than you can be at peace and move on to further swiping. Don't ghost them after the date. Have some respect for the person. 

Good luck to all in this current dating pool, and may the odds be ever in your favor!

Besos, 

Ilana 

My First Date Post Initial Weight Loss

“’Amor Fati’, Love your fate, which is in fact your life"

 ~ F. Nietzsche

Dear Fellow Blog Readers,

I hope you are keeping dry on this rainy Tuesday. It's no hurricane downpour, but it had me reminiscing of a date back in the day. 

From my recollection, I was about two and a half years into my journey of weight loss. I was beginning to accept and appreciate how far I had come. Like everyone at the time, the online dating scene was spreading like wildfire. Finding the right apps that fit you and what you were looking for was still a growing pain. Jdate, OKCupid and POF-Plenty of fish were in their heyday. I was signed up to all three. And all three to me seemed wrong. But since this was the fad, I had to go through with it. The first guy I met was from the OKCupid website. His name was Jay (For all intents and purposes of this blog.), a native Staten Islander who was, like me, a Russian Jew. Jay asked me to meet him for lunch on the weekend at a well known artisanal pizzeria joint called Pizzeria Giove. I was happy to experience something new for me since I hadn’t touched a slice of pizza in over 2 years. I was nervous prior to the date because I did not want to be the girl that just eats salads. I wanted to be normal and able to enjoy a normal meal. Sitting there with Jay was slightly nerve wrecking for me. But, after a few minutes of just breaking the ice and figuring out what we would order, I calmed down and eased into conversation better. We agreed on sharing a salad and pizza. (Best of both worlds.) 

As the date progressed, it turned out that he was the brother of a girl from a recent trip to Israel that I staffed. He knew the circle of friends I knew and particularly he knew my brother. That was a bit unsettling to me. I tried to get out of my brother's shadow for so long. My brother is like the sun and everything revolves around him in the social sector. And so, wherever I went, even without him, people were like, "Oh, your Jon's sister." If the guy knew my brother or other close friends, it was an automatic turn off for me because I wanted a life outside of those circles. I do not need the Russian Jewish Yentas' spreading gossip about my dating life before I could put in my two cents. (To this day, my brother and the Russian Jewish Yenta World is far reaching.)

Jay had a lisp and was not as tall as I had assumed based on his profile. He appeared sweet but a tad creepy as well. The date ended with him giving me a squeeze on my "tuchas" and saying he can’t wait to see me again. Not knowing how to react to such a gesture, I just continued to close the door of my vehicle and drive off like no one's business. His attempts of contacting me for future dates and additional time to get to know each other were persistent. Eventually, I let him down gently by stating I only saw him as a friend and nothing more. (I probably should have said the famous Seinfeld line, "It's me, not you".)

That first date and experience was a good stepping stone to ease me into the current dating culture at the time. As much as it went no where after the first meeting, it was great for me to understand what I like and what I did not like in a man while on the date.

We remained in touch from time to time. During Hurricane Sandy, he called me during that evening asking for help to call 911. His home was in the process of being flooded by the rising water. He was unable to get in touch with emergency services to rescue him and his family. My phone call finally reaching 911 helped them escape that evening. We reconnected a year after that yet again, this time on JSwipe. I obliged to meet him for drinks at Ho-Brah taco joint on Staten Island. I really did try to see past all the negatives from last time, but he had not changed. He never developed himself further to make himself more marketable or a better person. He talked about the same things. I again had to play the "let’s just be friends" card and have not heard from him since. 

Well, there you have it, my first date post weight loss for the books. Who knows what my life will have in store for me, but for now, I'll enjoy every bump and path in the road. 

Besos, 

Ilana

The Birthday Curse of the US Open.

Dear Fellow Blog Readers,

Sorry for the brief hiatus. I thought it would be good for me to regroup my thoughts and memories to bring some fun reading material for your enjoyment. As today is actually my brother's birthday, I would like to first congratulate him on his special day. He has truly provided me plenty of life lessons from his own experiences. As much as we had our sibling rivalries at younger ages, we have grown to be a very close family and nothing can change that, even with the addition of his amazing wife! (You know who you are.)
With all the cute "lovey dovey" portion of the blog taken care of, let's get down to the "nitty gritty" of it. Today I will be sharing snips of the past two years and what has gone down during my birthdays. I love my birthday and I embrace getting older (even if it comes with aches and joint pains from my workouts). I love to share my birthday with all my friends and acquaintances. It just so happens, that my birthday, which is on August 24th (Don't forget it!), always falls during the US Open tennis tournament.

Being an avid tennis player in my youth, I always love having a chance to go watch the matches. In my teens, I used to work for Wilson Sporting Goods every US Open tournament. It was a great time to have access to the grounds and watch matches during my breaks. I actually met my first crush/fling while working there. Young romance, you know how that goes, always ends in heartbreak. Well, this guy and I had kept in touch through the years. From time to time, he would reach out and check up on me. And me, being naive, I would always play surprised and would gladly go out with him to reconnect and see if that spark still existed. (Low and behold, it did.) Two years ago, we reconnected after a few years of hiatus. Being older and more mature, I thought I would let my guard down and just let things happen. I was finally coming to terms with just letting destiny take its course which, being a Virgo, is not in our normal nature. If it was meant to be, than let's give it a shot. All I asked from him was honesty and trust and the same went for me. We managed to grab some tickets to the US Open on my birthday. I thought it was a sweet gesture. We went together reminiscing of the fun times working together at Wilson and sitting court side to some of the best matches in history. As the evening progressed, it was getting late. We both had work in the morning. In the middle of Serena Williams match (which she was clearly dominating her opponent towards victory), we decided to head out a bit before it ended to beat traffic. As we are walking out of the stadium, he drops a line saying, "I really need to talk to you and say something, but I am not going to." WHOA WHOA WHOA. WHO SAYS THAT AND DOES NOT SAY WHAT'S ON THEIR MIND? I obviously became defensive and was now super curious to what he could possibly tell me that I may or may not know. I pushed it out of my mind and was for sure going to hope he brings it up in the next few days. We continued walking towards the car and then he goes on to say, "You know what, I am going to take the train home. I'll talk to you later." At this point, I was at a loss for words. I was powerless. We kissed goodnight and I walked to my car and headed home. Days, weeks, and months went by with not a single word from either one of us. I reached out one evening and never heard back. I knew what this meant as it did every time before that. He met someone else and moved on.

Last year, I had reconnected with another old tennis buddy of mine. It had been about 13 years since we last truly saw each other. It was so interesting to see him all grown up and a man, not a boy. He set the ground rules early saying we should just stay friends. I have had plenty of male friends and kept it platonic so why not hold to that this time. I was okay with that just on the surface, but the more we hung out, the more I realized there was something in me that stirred each time, wanting more. I am most confident that he knew that, but we both managed to subside any idea of moving anything further. We decided around my birthday to go to the qualifying rounds/practice sessions of the US Open. (FYI: For all you tennis fans, a good way to go to the US Open on a budget is to attend the practice sessions/qualifying rounds the week before the tournament kicks off. It is FREE to enter. Not all the stores/kiosks/food stands will be open, but there will be some great tennis to watch more, so than during the actual tournament. Also, another recommendation, the first week of the tournament has better matches than the second week. The side courts during the first week are flooded with amazing players. They all can't play in the major stadiums, so you get a more intimate match as you are closer to the action.) A good day to see the rising stars, we stood around the side courts to see some great tennis, commenting on their strokes and serves. At the end of the day, he drove me back to Brooklyn to where my car was and we said our good byes on a pleasant note. That was the last I ever heard from him.

Well, talk about Matches made in hell... haha... literally. Two years in a row, I was dumped on my birthday through ghosting even if it was just friendship. Luckily, my friend who works for Head Sporting Goods in the tennis division and is on the Board of the USTA was in town and invited me to join her for an evening during the tournament. That surely made up for the sour note from the week earlier. A few drinks and some Roger Federer makes any day better.

With age comes wisdom, maturity, and intuition.To not have the "cojones" to just say what you have to say, is a d*ck move. I believe the worst way to end anything is by "Ghosting". It happens far too much nowadays. People think they can just get away by sliding under the radar and not confronting the situation. Well it is not acceptable. Best to lay it out, be honest. This gives everyone the closure and understanding for future similar situations that may come up. Karma is a true bitch and so I don't wish it upon anyone. Maybe just some uncontrollable explosive diarrhea for a day. You'll recover, but that day will surely be shitty.

Besos,

Ilana

Eye contact is more intimate than words will ever be.

Dear Readers,

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas; Said No One Ever!!!! Haha, I know many of us have ventured out to Sin City at some point of our young adult lives. Some come for the gambling. Some come for the food and drinks. Some come for the nitelife. With all those combined, I'm sure most of us have been to Sin city for a bachelor/bachelorette party. What is it about Vegas that let's you put down your guard and let things be what they should be, easy and fun?

My most recent trip to Vegas was as you guessed it, a bachelorette party. One of my best friends was getting married and what better way to send her off to life long bliss and happiness than a weekend getaway in Las Vegas. Now, as what most of my memory allows me to remember  (which is crazy enough everything), this bachelorette party was one of the most epic in history.

Train insane or remain the same, even
 after a nite out with Calvin Harris

We were a group of six ladies, consisting of only two of us that were actually single (me being one of them). The bride mandated that I (in particular) leave my conservative clothing at home, and bring out my wild and sexy outfits. (I had to step foot into Forever 21 for the first and only time to find at least one outfit that suited the brides request.) We were staying at the Wynn Hotel. This hotel is phenomenal in amenities and luxuries. With floor to ceiling windows in our connecting rooms, along with massive jacuzzi tubs and glass showers, we were rolling in the deep. Between flashing the strip from our hotel windows to roaming around the rooms in robes and bottles of champagne we surely felt high class. (I mean, who wouldn't?!) Each night out was an adventure. We had originally made a pact to always go back to the hotel all together, but that seemed to almost never happen since someone would get tired and decide to head up to the room earlier. My only sole motivation to keep me in check was that every morning I still made sure to wake up early to work out and get a good spot for everyone by the pool. (One morning, I worked out with the husband of the Long Island medium. Sadly, his wife was still asleep, so I couldn't get an impromptu reading.)

Poolside at the Wynn

Since I was one of the only true single ladies of the crowd, I was always set to take the lead and find some lovely men to take care of us for the evenings. As we were laying by the pool at the Wynn, a young fellow comes up to my friends and leans down to try to start a conversation. They brush him to the side without a care for what he is trying to say. As I made eye contact with him, I called for him to approach me instead. I apologized for their hungover NYC behavior, and began a lite conversation. He begins to tell me how beautiful all of us ladies are and if we needed any assistance to getting into any clubs in Vegas on our trip. He was a promoter for many of the large high profile venues. (Cha-Ching!) I told him what our go to places were for our trip and with a snap of a finger, every evening we were escorted without any line into our venues of choice. The girls to this day are forever grateful to me for setting us all up.

That evening was spent at Tao niteclub. The second evening we went to Hakkasan at the MGM Grand. We got to see Calvin Harris perform all evening. What an experience that was. We managed to set ourselves up with a table of guys drinking Dom Perrignon that night. We had such a great time that some of us had the stamina to do cartwheels down our hotel hallway to the room. (I'm sure hotel security had a field day reviewing that footage on tape.) The following morning, as I was sitting at the roulette table, the gentlemen from the previous evening walked by and placed some bets along our table. (And I thought I would never see them again, HaHa.) We all did pretty well the several rounds of the wheel and then parted ways.

Calvin Harris at Hakkasan

Our final evening, we wanted to stay at the Wynn/Encore residence and jump between Surrender and XS niteclubs. Performing those evenings were Frances Dillon and Zedd. As we entered Surrender first, we all tried to stay together, but slowly our eyes were drawn to various men around the club. Eye contact is more intimate than words will ever be in such places. We were all pulled in different corners of the vast pool area and club. We were each being courted by various gentlemen. Eventually, we all congregated with our men in tow in one cabana and were enjoying the beginning of the evening. A few drinks and a few giggles, we decided to leave the men behind and head over to XS niteclub. We all thought we could find some additional eye candy as the night was young. 

Our evening at XS niteclub 

We hopped over to XS. I remember quite vividly, the moment I walked into the club, there was this immediate eye contact made with a light hazel color eyed gentlemen by the bar. He was a young caucasian lad of eastern european descent, wearing a dark suit with his top two white shirt buttons unbuttoned. There was that instant draw that was unexplainable. We both felt it and were sent on a course to meet half way across the room. (I think it could be the air they are pumping into the rooms of the casino grounds. Maybe it was the drinks. Yes, the drinks. They are laced with aphrodisiacs. Who knows and who cares at that moment.) Next thing I know, I had deviated from the group. He whisked me away to the dance floor for a bit. He certainly was quite the tiny dancer. After needing a break to hydrate, we walked back to the bar area where we could have just enough ability to hear each other talk. Turns out, like everyone else, he was from out of town. He lives in the Connecticut area, and has Hungarian-Jewish roots, so I was even more intrigued with continuing to get to know him. At the wee hours of the early morning around 5 AM, we tried to find our respective friends from our groups, but had no luck with the size of the place. He asked if I would like to come back up to his room at the Caesar's Hotel. I kindly declined because I had no desire to leave my hotel (which we were already at) and do any walk of shame in the morning. He giggled and then said, he had no problem doing any walk instead and asked to come back to my room. I told him that unfortunately I am pretty sure someone had probably made their way up to the room and that it would not be empty. He laughed at the idea and placed a bet with me. He said that if people are back in the rooms than I get to pick anywhere to have breakfast with him. But, if there is no one in the rooms, than all is fair in love and war. Now, if you don't know me, I try to never turn down a challenge. And, particularly since we were in Las Vegas, how do you turn down such a bet when the odds are in your favor. So, I excepted the bet and we made our way to the elevator. I tried desperately to text anyone from the group to get a response, but no one seemed to be checking their cellphones. As we walked to my room, the anticipation was building even more. I slid the card key in, and low and behold the rooms were all empty! I was shocked! I never was the first person to arrive back to the rooms all trip and the one time, I was hoping for the girls to be passed out and asleep, they were all somewhere but the room! Well, let's just say after some amazing make out session and nothing more, I told him that I did not want to take it any further but would love to stay in touch when we both get back to the East Coast. He begrudgingly accepted my request, exchanged numbers and parted ways around 7 AM. As I walked him out of the room and turned my back to the door, no more than 2 minutes later, I get a knock at the door. Sort of hoping it would be Mr. Hungarian, it was one of my girlfriends coming back to the room alone carrying her heels in one hand. As she begins to order room service for herself, we begin to exchange stories, but still very curious where the rest of the ladies are. Before the food even arrives, I was out for the count. My batteries were completely depleted and needed a few hours of snooze. 

As I woke up 3 hours later, I was relieved to see all the ladies back in the rooms. The stories from that particular evening were surely epic. I wish I could share all the "mansa" (a.k.a. gossip) but those are not mine to share. The one thing I surely learned from this trip was mastering the eye contact. It was key, particularly in the club scenario where saying the word "Hi" can barely be heard above all the music blasting. The law of attraction will just fall into place. Sometimes its about being in the right place at the right time and just letting the cards play out. 

I somehow have more success in finding a nice guy outside of NYC and wonder how is that so? It's because I feel more comfortable in letting go, being myself, and just letting things take its course when I am outside of NYC. I care less of what the other people think or how the situation will play out than when I am home. I have a fear of more likely running into this stranger again back in my hometown. But I shouldn't. All of us single folks need to have no reservations. You see someone across the room that fancies your pickle, go ahead and make eye contact. It is perfectly okay to approach another person at a bar if you feel compelled to get to know them. Take a chance and let the good times roll. 

Happy Friday and enjoy the weekend!

Besos, 

Ilana 

Sometimes, You Just Have to Wing It! (Part 3 of 3)

Happy Hump Day!

Sorry for the recent delay, but the day to day hustle of my real job got in the way of having the chance for you all to read the finale to the past weekend adventures all about winging it. To recap, the beginning to my weekend was as follows:

• Thursday, March 31st, 2016: UJA Russian Division Signature Event at the The Bowery Hotel, NY, NY (Drive Home post event and sleep at home)
• Friday, April 1st, 2016: Pop Up Mob's Tropicana Black Tie Party at the Diamond Horseshoe, NY, NY (Sleep over at a friend's apartment in the city)

The UJA event and the Tropicana Black Tie Party were fantastic. With two big events back to back, I had planned for Saturday to be a day of rest (as G-d had always planned), before heading out Sunday with the entire family for my brother's wedding anniversary. After only a few hours of sleep, I went to sweat out all the toxins and had a great workout with my trainer. An hour of weights, cardio, and stretching always wakes me up and puts me in a good mood for the rest of the day. After that, what I thought would be a quiet day, turned into another escapade out. I got a phone call from a few girl friends saying they are out for brunch in the city and wanted me to join. It sounded like an innocent afternoon catching up with some of the best girls I know. So, I quickly changed at the gym and hopped in the car. (Thank goodness I always carry spare clothing with me. You should always be prepared for the unexpected.) 

It was a nice afternoon spent reminiscing about previous bachelorette parties to upcoming wedding festivities for some in the group. As some of the ladies had other plans later with their fiances and other friends, one of the ladies wanted to continue on with the fun. Who am I to deny one of my friends who doesn't have the opportunity to come out all the time for some good ole fashioned city escapes. I can relate to her as she is also in the healthcare career. It can be demanding hours different from the corporate lifestyle.

So my friend and I traveled over to Williamsburg for some gin and juice (a.k.a vino for me) at a local French bistro called Juliette. (SHOUTOUT: Juliette is a fantastic Williamsburg, Brooklyn institution for some yummy french bistro classics. The decor and vibe transports you to Paris in the Montmartre neighborhood near Sacre-Coeur. In one room, you have vines hanging from the ceiling making you feel like you are in a secret garden. The bar area has a great Parisian feel from the tiled floor to the red leather upholstered bar chairs. They also have rooftop seating for the warmer summer months. The waitstaff is attentive and you can always count on a good time there.)

My friend's husband was out as well with my brother and his wife in the city. So, we decided that at some point of the evening we would meet up with them. We assumed that they would tell us to meet them at a local bar in the UES where my brother lives, but instead I received a text message from my brother stating,

"Guy in my building having a penthouse party. Come by. His name is Tim."

We had no intention of crashing a house party. But in the end, we both came to an agreement, if the party is "no bueno", we can easily sneak out and go back out on our own and take my brother's wife with us. When we showed up to my brother's apartment building, the doormen already knew we were heading up to Tim's apartment. As I always joke around with the doormen, I invited them to come up with us, to which they said, once they are done with their shift, they may come up.

Panorama shot from Tim's Balcony

Now, I don't know about you, but, the last time I attended a house party was in my college days. I expected Tom to be a fresh out of college male who is sharing an apartment with his "Bro's" and decided to relive the beer pong days. Well, I was not too far from the truth. We took the elevator up to the 42nd floor. As we stepped out of the elevator I could hear the liveliness down the hall that was coming from Tim's place. I was sure to be walking into a Frat party now. I was curious how the neighbors were ok with this. We knocked on the door to which there was no response due to the noise level. (Typical.) Finally, after a text to my brother, the door swings open. We were greeted by the host, Tim, who was a fit, salt and pepper male, in his early 50's. (Not what I was expecting, but then again, who else could afford a penthouse apartment in this building. I should have known better.) He had just finished renovating his apartment and invited people to come and see his latest digs. The apartment had floor to ceiling windows running through the entire place with a wrap around balcony with views stretching from the Onasis reservoir in Central Park (and beyond to New Jersey) all the way down to the Empire State Building and Freedom tower. The new marble kitchen (which had plastic wrap still on the entire marble counter top) was anointed with every liquor you can imagine to have his guests imbibe all night. Apparently, there was also a stripper pole built in his bedroom. (I avoided that part of the tour.) As I looked through the crowd, the age range varied from the 30's all the way up to 60's. It was interesting to meet the eclectic crowd and how they each knew Tim. Everyone only had high praises for Tim and I could see why. He was surely a great friend to all. He was genuine and just wanted everyone to have a good time.

I met the equivalent of the "Bro's" in one corner of the living room. They were all in their 40's and enjoying the single life still. They spoke about their previous summers of renting homes in the Hampton's and invited me to this summer's festivities. (Score!) Eventually, I was snatched up by an Eastern European fellow who lived in the Sheepshead Bay area followed by a West coast transplant living downtown. We spoke a good portion of the evening about our respective careers in healthcare and how Coney Island Hospital is need of additional funding on top of the recent funding and renovations already put in. (I should know from last years unexpected visit I had in the ER.)

Nothing ever developed from that evening of chats and laughter besides a need for some Advil and coconut water to hydrate myself before bedtime in the wee hours of the morning. When you look up the term "Winging It" in the Urban Dictionary, you get the definition, "to improvise with little preparation". That particular Saturday was truly about winging it. It went from a day arranged to be set with no plans besides relaxation, to just going with the flow and enjoying where life takes me. I think an evening like this helps me work on networking and my social skills. My brother used to call me a "Socio-phobe" My brother has been (and still is) the life of a party. He is always charismatic and can start a conversation with anyone. (And I truly mean anyone!) I would always hide behind his shadows, but with his confidence and his pep talks, I am now able to stand on my own two feet.

So, to those individuals who find excuses to avoid a social gathering out and about, I say, F*&k it! In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take. So next time you get that last minute text from a friend saying come and hang out, do it. Don't revert back to being tired or lazy to commute out. Just go out and have fun. Sleep is for the afterlife.

Besos,

Ilana

Sometimes, You Just Have to Wing it! (Part 2 of 3)

Welcome to Tropicana NYC at the Diamond Horseshoe

Hello Blog Followers, 

Happy Hump Day! As you read on Monday, my past weekend was jam packed with adventures. It started with a Thursday evening event filled with social interaction and being my friend's Wing Woman. Now onto the next evening. 

The following day was Friday. WooHoo! It was what my friend and I had been eagerly anticipating for the past month. It was the Pop Up Mob Tropicana Black Tie Party at the Diamond Horseshoe. We were invited to attend by one of the creators of the event. He had been hyping this party up for some time and knew it was up our alley. He told us that there would be plenty of "cute boys" for our picking. (And not to speed right into that, but he was true to his word!) Outfit planning was key. I had a lovely Badgley Mischka black and white dress that was perfect for this Latin inspired black tie ball. 

I arrived to my friend's apartment to get ready and pre-game. After the previous night, we actually decided that one glass of wine would suffice to get our blood flowing for the rest of the evening. We glamified and headed out via Lyft to the Diamond Horseshoe. (SHOUTOUT: The Diamond Horseshoe venue space at the Paramount Hotel located in Times Square area is a treat in and of itself to get a chance to visit. I am sure many of you had attended the Queen of the Night show at this place. I heard amazing things about that show. Currently it is being utilized as a venue space available for rent. Rumor is that a new production may take over the space in the near future, so stay tuned.)

As we descended into the Diamond Horseshoe, each level down was adorned with various decorations from the Queen of the Night show such as oversized candelabras dripping in wax and door knobs in replica of hands You begin to immerse yourself in a dark and seductive world. When you finally enter the main space, you get overtaken by the sheer size and intangible beauty it has. The stage was lit in a neon tropical flavor all night. There were blow up palm trees, flamingos, and lei’s added for fun and props by the photo booth. There were actors dressed in flamboyant, Latin inspired dresses handing out tropical boozy injected popsicles to get your palettes wet. Not a bad way to get the party going.

My friend and I hit up the bar and started the evening, getting to know a few main bartenders to get the drinks flowing. We handed them the popsicles we received as a barter. It doesn’t hurt to flirt and get a few good tequila shots down the hatch to loosen the soul and numb the feet for dancing all night. We met a few cute gentlemen dressed in impeccably tailored tuxedos. (Mind you, 95% of the men were in tuxedos, from black jackets to white jackets to everything in between. I am just blown away by the amount of well-dressed, good looking men. I was curious all night, asking if they truly keep a white tuxedo stored in the back of their closets or was it a rental? The following day, I saw a post on the event page for a missing white Ferragamo jacket to be returned (Totally not a rental.)). Of course, the men were also good friends with our friend who invited us.  It turned out that one of the men was the founder of Pop Up Mob. Oh, and it gets better. He was a Hungarian-Moroccan Jew. (Yup. Jackpot!) We had another round of drinks and then moved onto the dance floor.

Nicolò Della Casa

April 2 at 5:40pm · 

If someone mistakenly got my suit jacket yesterday night at the Tropicana party (dark blue with thin light blue lines, size 46 EU, brand Ferragamo, name plate in the internal pocket and a white pochette) DM me please. I will be eternally grateful. Thanks

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Grupo Irék with front man, singer Chino Pons, were mixing the sounds of Cuba, Cha-Cha, Mambo, Salsa - with New York City flavor into original tunes. They were phenomenal. I danced that evening with several gentlemen, all cuter than the next. I thank my parents for making me take ballroom dance lessons when I was younger. The skills I developed surely paid off, but I must say, these Latin men sure know how to lead and take over the dance floor.

Chino Pons and Grupo Irek providing tunes for the evening

We bumped into many friends of ours and other patrons from our weekend adventures at Felix restaurant downtown in SoHo. Seeing them all dressed to the nines and out of our usual attire definitely was a sight. As the night progressed, my friend decided she needed my wing woman skills to reappear from last night and work my magic. She fell into the arms of a dapper gentlemen she had met previously at Felix. They seemed to enjoy each other’s company and conversation so I excused myself from the area and went to seek some fun in other parts of the venue space. I always had an eye on her. Luckily her blonde hair and the gentlemen’s white tuxedo was easy to spot from the distance. (Then again there were many blondes dancing with men in white jackets. Maybe, I spotted the wrong pair.)

Low and behold by 3:30am, I receive a text message from my friend stating the following: “I can’t find you. I’m going out after with the guy for another drink. You have my spare keys. Sleep in my bed.” Well, that was enough for me to know where the evening is heading. By 4am, my body was exhausted. I spotted the two of them by the bar as I quietly made my exit. I hopped into an Uber and made my way back to her place. I woke up the next morning and left her apartment for my work out with my personal trainer before she arrived back home.

It is evenings like these that I hope to be able to surprise my kids with my stories on how much fun mommy and daddy had in our prime. It is also nights like these, that will surely keep me up at night thinking my kids may be doing the exact same thing. But, that is a long ways away, so until then, let the good times keep rolling!

Stay tuned to Part 3 of the finale to the saga of my past weekend adventures!

On stage capturing the crowd

Andre the host with the most being his fabulous self all evening

Acrobatics in the air while everyone danced the night away