“’Amor Fati’, Love your fate, which is in
fact your life"
~ F. Nietzsche
Dear Fellow Blog Readers,
I hope you are keeping dry on this rainy Tuesday. It's no hurricane downpour, but it had me reminiscing of a date back in the day.
From my recollection, I was about two and a half years into my
journey of weight loss. I was beginning to accept and appreciate how far I had
come. Like everyone at the time, the online dating scene was spreading
like wildfire. Finding the right apps that fit you and what you were looking
for was still a growing pain. Jdate, OKCupid and POF-Plenty of fish were in their heyday. I was signed up to all three. And all three to me seemed wrong. But since this was the fad, I had to go through with it. The
first guy I met was from the OKCupid website. His name was Jay (For all intents and purposes of this blog.), a native
Staten Islander who was, like me, a Russian Jew. Jay asked me to meet him for
lunch on the weekend at a well known artisanal pizzeria joint called Pizzeria
Giove. I was happy to experience something new for me since I hadn’t touched a
slice of pizza in over 2 years. I was nervous prior to the date because I did not want to be the
girl that just eats salads. I wanted to be normal and able to enjoy
a normal meal. Sitting there with Jay was slightly nerve wrecking for me. But, after a few minutes of just breaking the ice and figuring out what we would order, I calmed down and eased into conversation better. We agreed on sharing a salad and pizza. (Best of both worlds.)
As the date progressed, it turned out that he was the brother of a girl from a recent trip to Israel that
I staffed. He knew the circle of friends I knew and particularly he knew
my brother. That was a bit unsettling to me. I tried to get out of my brother's shadow for so long. My brother is like the sun and everything revolves around him in the social sector. And so, wherever I went, even without him, people were like, "Oh, your Jon's sister." If the guy knew my brother or other close friends, it was an automatic turn off for me because I wanted a life outside of those circles. I do not need the Russian Jewish Yentas' spreading gossip about my dating life before I could put in my two cents. (To this day, my brother and the Russian Jewish Yenta World is far reaching.)
Jay had a lisp and was not as
tall as I had assumed based on his profile. He appeared sweet but a tad creepy as well. The
date ended with him giving me a squeeze on my "tuchas" and saying he can’t wait
to see me again. Not knowing how to react to such a gesture, I just continued to close the door of my vehicle and drive off like no one's business. His attempts of contacting me for future dates and additional
time to get to know each other were persistent. Eventually, I let him down gently by
stating I only saw him as a friend and nothing more. (I probably should have said the famous Seinfeld line, "It's me, not you".)
That first date and experience was a good
stepping stone to ease me into the current dating culture at the time. As much
as it went no where after the first meeting, it was great for me to understand what I like and what I did not like in a man while on the date.
We remained in touch from time to time.
During Hurricane Sandy, he called me during that evening asking for help to call
911. His home was in the process of being flooded by the rising water. He was unable to get in touch with emergency services to rescue him and his family. My
phone call finally reaching 911 helped them escape that evening. We reconnected
a year after that yet again, this time on JSwipe. I obliged to meet him for
drinks at Ho-Brah taco joint on Staten Island. I really did try to see past all
the negatives from last time, but he had not changed. He never developed himself
further to make himself more marketable or a better person. He talked about the
same things. I again had to play the "let’s just be friends" card and have not heard
from him since.
Well, there you have it, my first date post weight loss for the books. Who knows what my life will have in store for me, but for now, I'll enjoy every bump and path in the road.
Besos,
Ilana
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