Dating in a Stress Free Environment: Keep Calm and Date On

Happy Hump Day my Fellow Followers, 

We are half way done with the work week. A few more hours, and before you know it, you will be clocking out on Friday to enjoy your weekend escape. Some of us single folks are currently at work texting away with our potential dates and setting up our weekend rendezvous. (Besides reading this blog post.) Nothing wrong with some early planning to get ahead of the game making those clutch reservations at the yummiest places.

Many times as I am working on my dating life, I find myself getting, "A-G-I-N-A" or as the true medical terminology, "Angina”, in more ways than one. I am sure I am not the only one in the universe that has stress from all different angles in finding the right soulmate. It can come from outside factors such as, friends, family, or even society. Much of this lives in our own perfect little minds. How do we turn the stress switch off and just focus on having a good time with the person in front of us. The little wheel in my head starts turning faster and faster, trying to analyze every possible chess move. It is all about figuring out if the person in front of me good enough for the people that are nearest and dear to me.

I am sure there are male readers of this blog saying, “What sort of stress do you females have when it comes to dating? Us, men have to do all the work.” Well men, I feel your pain as I have endured being in your role several times. But playing the female role also comes with stress, from accepting the invitation to go out, to acting ourselves, to making sure our social cues are a fit with yours. It takes two to tango in this wonderful world of dating.

There were several dating stories I could touch upon, but I am going to hone in on one that stuck in my mind most vividly. About a year and a half ago, I met a guy on the JSwipe app by the name of Sam (As we will call him in this post). We had an instant connection, both growing up in Mill Basin and attending Hebrew School at Flatbush Park Jewish Center. (Big Ups to my old neighborhood! L’Chaim!) It turned out that his brother and I were the same age and were possibly in some of the same classes.

Sam was a new addition to JSwipe because he had just returned from living abroad. (Down under 😉 Bonus points.) It’s great to see a fresh face after swiping left on all the same individuals. We agreed one evening that we should meet up. For an odd reason, he left it up to me to make all the plans and arrangements. I almost thought for a moment, I would also need to pick him up and get flowers, etc. HaHa. This was totally not a plus in my books. Even though I may seem (actually I am) quite in the know on all great things NYC (restaurants, bars, museum exhibition openings, galleries, cute walking neighborhoods, etc.), I feel I should not be expected to make the arrangements on a first date. I am quite old school, and would hope that the gentleman will be able to pick up on my likes, dislikes. All this, so to determine a good spot to have out first meet up. It does not have to be so elaborate or expensive. I prefer creative dates than the generic bars and restaurants. (Than again, I shouldn’t had been so harsh on this one, since he was just acclimating himself back into this city.)

Sam wanted to stay local in Brooklyn, so I suggested we could meet at a Park Slope bar called DeCoursy’s Sidecar. (SHOUTOUT: DeCoursy’s Sidecar has their kitchen open till 4am, which is great for those late night hours when your friends/date still need a bite and drink. They call their cooking style “French Redneck” and for all the yummy reasons. Enjoy their backyard patio during the warmer months. I also find this place charming for the wall mural and beverage homage to “Dr. Tucker’s 59 Elixir”, of which my pharmaceutical geeks will love too. Also, it doesn’t hurt that they were featured on Diners Drive-Ins and Dives TV show.)

As I sit at a booth waiting for Sam to arrive, I receive a text message that he is nearby and shouldn’t be too long. Well his version of too long was about 35 minutes late. He told me when he finally arrived, he got lost and just parked the car about 15 blocks away. (Sitting, and waiting for your date to arrive is stressful. It also made me double think of the place I chose. Was it too difficult to find? Should I have chosen something fancier for Brooklyn? Then again it is New York. Our city is a grid. Plus, we all have smart phones with GPS.)

Sam decided he wasn’t hungry at an 8pm date, so we just ordered drinks through the night. We go through the same “schpeel” of conversation as we did over our texts. At the end of the evening, as I do on any date, I offered to pay. Odd enough, this guy actually agreed to let me pay for the bill. (It is not a complete deal breaker but makes me think about things moving forward.) I offered to drive him to his vehicle and accepts the gesture. We part ways that evening with a hug.

He never asked me out again but we became friends on Facebook. I did not expect to hear back from him at all, but he did reach out a few times just to exchange messages. He has liked and commented on many of my statuses. I had run into him at several events recently and we were courteous to each other. Sam has moved on and managed to snag a girlfriend making him finally off the market. They make a lovely couple.

This particular date made me experience what some of the stresses are for men in the dating world. From determining a location to meet, to paying for the bill and providing a safe escort and departure out of the bar. As much as we live in a society of gender equality, some of the old school dating rituals should still be practiced. It worked for our parents, so why should it not work for us.

On a constant daily basis, we experience varieties of stresses that we put on ourselves. Our minds are racing with thoughts one after the other; from dating, to work, to family, and finance. It is an endless circle of craziness. How do we just take a step back, and say to ourselves, “Everything will be alright.”? It is easier said than done. For myself, a good workout can calm the nerves, even more so than eating a pint of Ben & Jerry’s New York Super Fudge.

Find your stress reliever, from listening to your favorite tunes, to taking a walk outside and breathing in some fresh air. Below is a link for some tips on managing anxiety and stress from the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA). We need to take a step back and realize that some of our stresses are just not ours to focus on. It is best to just let things take its own course. In the end you may be surprised how wonderfully it all will work out. 

Besos,

Ilana

Tips for managing anxiety and stress - ADAA

Monday Fit Life. Five Minutes of Fabulous

Hello Avid Readers,

Hope your week is kicking off to a great start. After the past several days of holidays and indulging on yummy delicacies that come with the traditional rituals of Purim and Easter, it's time to get back on the healthy track. You may be looking back and thinking about how another weekend passed by. While out on dates or other social gatherings, another several drinks down the hatch. The calorie count is high from these wonderful elixirs and you lose count as the time goes by conversing with the person in front of you.

How is one to stay fit and healthy while still out and about? I know my struggle comes from the evening outings/dates that many times include both eating and drinking. I sometimes make the conscious decision of not eating and saving my calories for the drinks. How is that even a good idea? It's just setting myself up for the possibility of getting intoxicated with a hangover the next morning. What I could had done was have a balance of some lite bites and drinks so to wake up refreshed without popping Advil's while chugging coconut water.

It's all about balance. Now, I know what you all are probably thinking. "I have a healthy balance of going out, working out and eating right?" Well, do you really? How many of you are doing on average an hour worth of cardio every day? I don't count typing at a desktop or getting up to go to the water cooler. And, how many of you are meal planning for the week and getting a good dose of veggies and protein in your diet? These are truly the key to staying healthy and fit if you have this down to a lifestyle.

I know the struggle is real. I deal with it constantly. Some of you who are reading this, have seen my own personal transformation. (Which I will save for another blog post.) Every day is a new day to make the right choice, while still living your life and going out.

Life is truly about balance. With balance comes the difficult decision of the sacrifices we need to make to have that balance. There will be weeks where we have a jam packed social calendar of gatherings. I know as much as the next person that we do not want to sacrifice those outings. We want to be able to enjoy good times, good laughs, good drinks with great people.

One simple thing we can all benefit from adding into our life is some sort of morning workout routine. It does not have to be anything fancy or crazy, like sweating beast mode, or cardio (but those feel amazing). For myself, I have implemented every morning to wake up and hop on my stationary bike in my room and cycle for an hour while watching the morning news. This is an easy, low impact, cardio workout you can easily implement. I am doing several activities all at once (cardio, watching tv, checking emails, surfing the web, blogging, drinking water).

If you do not have a bike, there are plenty of cardio exercises that can be done in shorter amounts of times. Personally, I have also been adding a 5 minute cardio blast which is a quick and great way to add that extra boost. It's done in no time with little to no additional equipment. My personal, go to 5 minute workout is by David Kirsch. He has the 5 minute, 5 steps workout depicted in the picture below. (Please also see the list of links below for some other 5 minute cardio blasts that you can incorporate in your life)

David Kirsch 5-5-5 Plan workout. See the link below.

Now, I know what you are thinking, "But, I have no time in the morning. I get up and go to work right away." BULLSHIT!!!! I am calling you out on your lame excuse to not be able to add a quick workout in the morning. All it takes is setting your alarm back an hour and POOF, you've gained your time for a morning routine. Sleep is great, but feeling great during the day is even better. Just try it out for a week and see how great you are going to feel heading to work, more energized to tackle the day. If the morning time is too big of a hassle, than implement these same routines in the evening before bedtime.

Below is a list of different links to Five Minute Workouts you can easily add into your daily routine. Many shares the movements. Just find the one that fits you best or incorporate several ones throughout the week to change it up.

David Kirsch 5-5-5 plan
Shape magazine 5 minute cardio fat blaster
Fitness Magazine 5 minute express workouts
Glamour magazine 5 minute workout with weights

Stay Fit and Active,

Ilana

An Ode to the upcoming movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2"....

Oh Aunt Voula, thank you for your words of wisdom. I have taken your advice on many of my dates. A great dating story that resonates with the upcoming film debut of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2" was a guy I went out with right before my birthday in August 2013. 

I was just getting comfortable with my body image as my weight loss was progressing. This was at the beginning of my dating "career" as I would put it. His name was Nic (For all intents and purposes of this post 😂). We met on OKCupid. He was a 26 year old Jewish male when we went out. The interesting thing that intrigued me was that he was originally from Greece. Can you imagine the odds? The Jewish tribe exists out in Greece! The mix of brains and brawn seemed too good for it to be true. Ha and it was. 

Nic and I had a short evening of messaging on the OKCupid website so to get comfortable with each other. By the end of the night we were quick to exchange our numbers. After an additional day of texts he set up a date in the city at BathTub Gin. (SHOUT OUT: BathTub Gin is a great speakeasy with the Stone Street Coffee storefront on the Chelsea/Meatpacking border. They have delicious cocktails and bites. Please try to make a reservation ahead of time so to grab a seat at a table rather than stand in a crowd by the bar. They let in a limited amount of people at a time and have a burlesque show certain nights of the week. Don't forget to snag a photo in the copper bathtub in the middle of the room.) 

BathTub Gin and its seductive speakeasy vibe.

Always need a photo in a bathtub.

We met on a Thursday night in front of the bar after work around 6pm. I drove in from New Jersey where I was working at the time. Nic came dressed from work in a suit. Since there were no tables available, we were granted entry to the bar with no wait. Luckily, Nic squeezed us in at the bar so we could be comfy standing to some extent. He had been there before so he was proficient in ordering me a Gin drink based on my preference of flavors. My drinks of choice vary on the season and mood I am in. That day it was quite humid, so it had to be a clear liquor with citrus notes without it being too sweet.  

Our conversation was light and easy flowing. I was quite curious about his upbringing, particularly being born in Greece as a Jew. During Passover, he said that his mother makes lamb shoulder, braised in Greek spices, and the matzah meal borekas stuffed with spinach and feta are phenomenal. Someone pinch me. His accent surely helped with his charm. As much as he was trying to suppress the accent and immerse himself in living in NYC for several years, it still was dominant in the most pleasant way. 

Even with the dim lighting at BathTub Gin, I had spotted a lovely two tone Datejust Rolex watch on his wrist. He was modest about it and stated it was a gift from his parents for graduating Grad School and landing his dream job. (SHOUT OUT: Thank Pops for showing me the difference between a Folex and a Rolex. My father taught me a lot about watches since he was in the business at some point. What can I say, I have a good eye for good taste!) 

By the end of the evening, we had went through the entire list of various specialty cocktails. We had some great laughs that night. Maybe it was the drinks that had helped the both of us loosen up. We both began the flirtatious hand motions that come with dating. He would make a comment (funny or not) and I would laugh and place my hand on his chest or grab his arm. (Just checking out his biceps, triceps, and pecs.) He would pull me closer to him so we were standing now as one unit. Things were going well. Next thing I know we are making out at the bar in full view of everyone. I am not a fan of extreme PDA (Public Displays of Affection). A kiss or two snuck in quietly are acceptable. But full blown, PDA was just not my style. The bartender even gave us a glance of "Hey, pay the check and get a room." I wanted to come back to this establishment again in the future without the look of shame, so I told Nic that I think we should call it a night. As always, I reach into my purse for some cash and offer to pay, but his Greek masculinity took charge and would not let me. (Winner)

We took our PDA around the block where we were like high school kids making out by my car. His persistence to take me home that evening was enticing, but I did not want to fall into the trap of one and done. After catching our breaths and fixing ourselves up to look proper again for society, he kissed me good night and grabbed a cab back to his neighborhood. 

The next days I waited for a follow up phone call, hoping for another chance. It eventually came a week later. He was looking for me to just come over and "Netflix & Chill" as we would call it these days. Sadly, I was not looking for a friend with benefits. Slowly over the next several weeks, our conversations died out and I never got a second date with my Greek. 

As I reflect back on that date, I think about how I could have let this kissing affair continue with additional dates. Maybe I would have brought a Greek boy home for the parents to meet. In the end, I am the type of person that respects myself and doesn't want an end of summer fling. It has always lead to one person being hurt and wanting more. I also think, that if I would have met Nic now than before, the cards would have played out differently. My approach to dating has evolved more with the times and I have come into my shell as to what I want for now and later in life. 

So, what did we learn from this date? 

• Bathtub Gin and their wonderful elixirs can lead to pleasant euphoric fun nights.

• Greeks are aggressive yet amazing kissers. (Curious to know what it would be like in the bedroom ...haha)
• PDA can be fun in the right settings, but let's not take it to the extreme. As I would say, "Classy, not trashy." 
• It all depends what you are looking for in a partner. For myself, I am not the friends with benefits kind of girl. My feelings will develop and I don't want to be hurt by rejection as well as the feeling of being used. Make a decision to what type of relationship you want and can handle. Respect yourselves and others.

 Have a great weekend and go out and see My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2. I can't wait to add more quotes to my repertoire. 

Yasu, 

Ilana

Be Brave. Take Risks. Nothing Can Substitute the Experiences.

From my travels in Brussels NOV2015

Happy Hump Day Wednesday,

"The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page." ~ Saint Augustine

Don't be scared to walk alone. Don't be scared to like it. We all need a break at times from the dating scene or from the norms of life that we have set in motion for ourselves. I say this particularly for those that are currently single for whatever reasons they maybe. What better way is it to get away than to just literally get away. Taking a trip/adventure on your own/alone without any strings attached is the most freeing thing a person can do these days. This can even hold true for those of us who have had to travel for business for several days/weeks/months at a time and representing a company all on our own. It's a growing experience for without even knowing it. I say this from experience. I have done the solo travel several times both for business and pleasure from the cities of California to the beaches of Hawaii to my second home of South Florida, and several other destinations. Each time I come back reinvigorated to add a new petal to my soul of a person that I am. I grow and learn so much each time I take the journey.

As there was such great news this past weekend that terrorist suspect, Abdeslam Salah, had finally been captured in his hometown neighborhood of Molenbeek in Brussels, Belgium, the news turned for the worst yesterday on Tuesday, March 22nd, 2016 when there were several terrorist attacks on the beautiful city of Brussels, Belgium. I just can not fathom how the people are handling this over there, or how this attack could have occurred. Well, actually I can because I had just been there several months ago during Thanksgiving Break 2015 on my Solo BeNeLux Trip I had taken.

SHOUT OUT to my now legal Dutch resident homegirl Marianna and her Boo- Ivan who had moved out to Amsterdam, Netherlands a few years ago because well she wanted to. Talk about bravery. They had been constantly inviting me to come visit. I came to a point in my life that I had no strings attached to a true desk job. I had no true excuse to not go. So I finally reached into my piggy bank and decided if I am making the journey, than I better visit more than one country while I'm out in Europe. I originally had wanted to invite a buddy to come along with me, but somehow I kept telling myself that this trip needed to be about me and no one else. I needed the time away to venture out for self discovery. Ten days was sufficient time to do a good BeNeLux trip. (It curtails visiting Belgium-Netherlands-Luxembourg) I decided I would station myself for half the trip in Brussels since the rail system was ideal, easy, and inexpensive to hop from various cities in Belgium and an easy straight shot to Luxembourg for a day or even Paris if I wanted to. The other half of the trip I would head up to Amsterdam to stay by my friends. (Thanks peeps for hosting me in your sweet Dutch Pad.) The biggest decision came to if I stay at a hotel or AirBnB an apartment somewhere in Brussels. I gave in to my mother's scolding of that I am an accomplished woman who can afford the luxury of a hotel, so I booked a hotel sort of central to all the major attractions and ease of walk to the Central Station. (But personally the AirBnB concept let's you immerse yourself more so as a local and many of the listings are spectacular! I recommend folks to try it out.)

Six days before my flight, the devastating attacks in Paris occurred. Europe and the entire world was in mourning. All major cities in Europe and particularly Brussels, Belgium were on high alert hunting down the remaining suspects involved in the attacks. News kept breaking with possible additional attacks and attempts in Belgium & Turkey. I'd called the airline several times all to know that my flights were leaving on time with no anticipation of any cancellations or travel alerts for US citizens. My parents were very much against me leaving but I said everything will be fine. My mother demanded everyday for me to call in or post on social media that I was alive. My friends and family I am sure had seen my daily postings on Instagram and Facebook.

Manneken Pis in Brussels dressed in college grunge gear

As I had arrived into Brussel's main airport via a connecting flight in Istanbul, Turkey, there was that amazing sensation that fell over me as I grabbed my luggage passed through security and was finally ready to begin the first adventure in Europe; finding the train station to get to the center of the city and find my hotel! (LoL, I actually have an amazing sense of direction. Thanks Dad!) I arrive with ease into the heart of Brussels and walk down the main avenue to get to my amazing hotel. I drop my bags in my cool modern room and head out to get in as much of Brussels I can the first day. I decided to stay within the heart and later in the days venture out to a few other parts that were recommended for me to see.
Walking the streets those first few hours I felt a buzz that only European cities have. The way local people walk, talk, eat, drink, socialize all comes with ease and relaxation. You can see that people enjoy life even if they work long hours, or several jobs to provide for themselves and families. America still has a way before we can adapt such a concept. I ventured out that first night and grabbed a delicious moules frites dinner at a recommended restaurant. I grabbed a pint at one of the oldest pubs in town. I was so tired and had an early morning planned for myself that I decided to call it an early night so to adjust to the European time.
The next morning I woke up early to grab an early departure out to see Bruge and Ghent. As I walked towards the Central station I noticed on every major block or pedestrian walk way lots of police and military presence. Police cars and military vehicles/tanks stationed throughout major points. What I thought was just maybe a norm or something I missed yesterday walking was in fact the beginning of a citywide lock down forming. As I returned back to Brussels, there are certain eerie feeling walking back to my hotel. There seemed to be a departure of the buzz and vast amount of people on the streets. The military and police presence were much more visible. They walked with their ski masks on covering most of their faces and their hands on the triggers of their large semi automatic rifles and pistols. After freshening up a bit from today's excursion, I stopped by the front desk to get directions and best mode of transport to get to this evenings recommended restaurant in the neighborhood of Ixelles. The concierge looked at me eyes of bewilderment and said that all citywide transit except for the Euro Rail system had been shutdown as of 3 pm and the city had gone into a lock down indefinitely. The city of Brussels was on the Highest terror alert of 4 out of 4. The concierge recommended that if I must venture out for a meal/drink outside the hotel to call and see if they are open and be cautious. I was quite taken back. I had heard of lock downs and read about curfews in fictional books, but to actually be apart of it was slightly surreal.

Military presence everywhere in Brussels

I still ventured out that night to find a better meal than the hotel. I did not come all this way to eat at hotels. I ended up at another re Aux Armes de Bruxelles established in 1921. As I took my last bite of food and sipped the last drops of my complimentary champagne; the waiter asked if I don't mind paying right away. Due to the curfew and vast amount of military on the block they would like to close as soon as possible. I did as I was told. The waiter graciously helped me with my coat and bag and led me out through the kitchen and into the back door into an alleyway away from the main entrance. He said not to walk down the way I came to avoid the police and military on the main block. (Later on the news I found out they had conducted a raid on that block.) This left me to take the narrow cobble stone street down back into the Grand Palace. It was a slight detour back to the hotel but to see again the majestic Grand Palace at night I had no hesitation to pass up on. As I arrive and take a few photographs I get bombarded by a news crew asking if I speak english. To much to their surprise, they stumbled upon a jewel of a story. A female American Solo Traveler, disregarding curfew and venturing the evening streets of Brussels during a high terror alert scare post Terror attacks in Paris. I get miked up, light beaming and cameras rolling on me. I give them a glimpse into who I am, why I had ventured out post curfew, do I feel safe and so on. They requested if I can come back tomorrow to the Grand Palace for additional interviews with other major news correspondents such as Martha Raddatz from ABC news. (I ended up interviewing for a few news agencies the next morning) The producer also that evening took down my information, sent it to the American consulate of Brussels in case of emergency as well as offered me special car service to get around town if I needed. (Next time I am traveling only as Press!)

Walking through the streets of Brussels during the lock down, I was surprised on how literal all the local shops, restaurants, museums, schools, and even local people took this citywide shut down. It sure felt like a Ghost town. But it also felt like the city was all mine. (Kind of like the old British Airways commercial of the guy yelling in the empty street "WHERE IS EVERYBODY!") Their version of Fifth Avenue with shops like Chanel, Ralph Lauren, even Nespresso were all closed (I couldn't get my european nespresso fix!!!!)

Martha Raddatz and I in the Grand Palace talking about my fears of traveling alone in Europe during these tough times

I am such a Global Threat! LoL

The next evening of my stay in Brussels after getting back from Antwerp, I ended up sitting at the hotel bar after dinner and making friends for life with other out of town guests staying in the hotel. We were an international squad from the UK, South Africa, Angola, Cuba, Saudi Arabia, and I from the US. We were requested by the hotel manager and security that we do not sit by the windows as a precautionary measure. They could not guarantee our safety in the case of a bomb thrown to a window or any other violent attack. It did not stop all of us from enjoying the late hours. The nine of us talked about international politics (which everyone always says never to talk about on a date or meeting new people). It went rather well. The only argument and variety of opinion came from who made a better James Bond: Sean Connery, Roger Moore, Pierce Bronsan or Daniel Craig?

Most hotels had military presence for security. You could not enter without ID and Key card from the hotel.

My last night in Brussels before heading up to Amsterdam, I spent finding a local bar that finally surpassed curfew and remained open. As the name suggest Bar de Amis (Friends Bar) was exactly what it was. It had plenty of locals my age who disregards the curfew. The bar was open at its own risk the bartender had told me in my conversation with them. As the night progressed. I  met some locals who wanted to take me out for dinner next time I am in town. (How sweet.) At around 10:45pm, the bartender received a text from his friend stating that he heard shots fired as he was riding his bike home. At 10:51pm it was a like an amber alert went off on all the locals cellphones. The city of Brussels issued a citywide emergency to seek shelter and not to post anything on social media (If you see something, do not say anything. It's the complete opposite of how Americans would handle it.) This was so not to tip off the people that Belgium was searching for in connection of the Paris attacks.

You would think I would be scared, nervous, unsettled and running towards my hotel. I was instead calm, cool, collected and wanting to stay longer at the bar. I was in the company of people that all wanted to protect me. They were afraid that if American blood gets spilled in Belgium, it would be a national crisis. After the bar owner called and said that they would need to close the bar shortly, the bartender asked the security that evening to walk me back to my hotel. I hadn't asked for any additional protection, but to have an armed bodyguard with me for the 3 block walk did provide a sense of comfort and appreciation to the people of Belgium for being so considerate. As I got back to the hotel to show my passport and hotel key card, the news broke that they were conducting about 15 raids all at once throughout the city, trying to find Abdelslam Salah linked to the attacks.

The next morning, I packed my bags and said Merci & Au Revoir to this grand country of Belgium still in lock down. I headed up to my friends and had an amazing time in the Netherlands.

Sitting here in NYC today and writing this post for you all to read brings back soo many memories and a few new ones that I am only now coming to feel. I am feeling today extremely lucky to be sitting here and typing this out. The current attacks in Brussels could have surely happened to me while I was there. For all I know, I could have down the streets of Brussels and bumped into this terror suspect or anyone else linked to him. The center of Brussels is so small, that my hotel was only ten blocks distance from the Molenbeek neighborhood where the hot bed of ISIS terrorists have been stationed. But somehow, it was not my time or fate to have such tragedy happen while I was there. I reflect back now when Martha Raddatz asked, "Are you scared?" and I stated, "No. I'm a tough cookie born and raised in New York City. I had lived through 9/11. I had visited Israel numerous times. A country that is on constant high alert of missiles flying overhead. I do not fear what I can not see. All I can do is live my life and enjoy it."

I challenge you all to take a step into the unknown and do something that usually wouldn't do on your own. May it be as simple as dining out at a restaurant by yourself. Also, put down your cellphone and look up and see the world. Do not hide behind phone/camera/lens constantly. Look with your own eyes the wonder of this gorgeous world. Because one day it may all be gone. In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take.

Travel Because Life is Short and the World is Huge.

For any additional information/tips on traveling both solo and in company, please reach out. I love to find the best deals and most interesting places to be heading off to next for others besides myself.
Ten Reasons to Travel Alone

Je m’en vais (I’m outta here),

Ilana

I Love Online Dating...Said No One Ever!

HAPPY MONDAY Ladies (and even Gentlemen),

I stumbled upon this E-card the other day. I knew I had to post it here and tell you about my beginnings in the world of "Serial Dating". It sounds so devious and dirty when the words roll off someone's tongue and the truth of the matter... IT IS!

I will always remember this one particular encounter that I had. It was last summer 2015. I had begun chatting with a guy from OKCupid - "OKC". His name was Alex (or so we will call him such in this post)  He was a Russian-Jewish male 33 years old from Brooklyn and working in finance in the city. (Already checking off the parents wish list!) He initiated the conversation, which I personally like. (Tip for men: Please don't feel shy to initiate conversation. Chivalry and manners are not dead yet.) Though, I'm not opposed to trying to start the conversation. (Tip for ladies: Don't fear rejection! Take the first step, what's the worst that can happen? He doesn't respond? We all know how that feels because we do it to the men quite often. Don't shake your head. I know we all have "Ghosted" someone.)

After several days of online banter on the pathetic OKC messenger, he asked for my number and we began an additional several days of texting. Finally Alex got the courage to ask me out. I was worried with this one. The typical "Russian-Jewish-Brooklynite" only knows his way around Sheepshead Bay and Brighton Beach choosing to take the ladies to their local sushi spot like Mitoushi and Chikurin and calling it a night.(Remind me to fill you in on those dates) Somehow, this lad intrigued me further when he suggested we meet at The Castello Plan on Cortelyou Road. (SHOUT OUT to The Castello Plan: Fabulous date spot for great bites and good wine and cocktails. Click the link to check it out) I had been to this lovely tiny establishment before and was happy to know someone is in the know for cute spots that are perfect to have a conversation without having to always go to Manhattan.

Summertime evenings allow for me to dress in a cute skirt and top and give a little skin without being too revealing. I arrived on time for this date only to receive a text saying he is running late and will be there in 20 minutes. Not the best way to start the date, but I don't judge right off the back. (Maybe Babushka needed some more beets for her borscht) Alex arrives and takes control of the evening. (Something that I very much like in a man) He chooses for us to sit outdoors in the small side patio and orders a bottle of white wine. It was a refreshing Sauvignon Blanc from New Zealand. As the bottle arrives, we talk about personal life and ambitions. The usual banter of retelling my life story gets eventually a little dull, but I always do my best to keep the stories lite and intriguing giving plenty of time for a good back and forth shuffling of storytelling. We people watch the ever changing Midwood neighborhood and make some interesting remarks about where did all these Non-Brooklynites come from and how they have reinvigorated a dead neighborhood into something substantial.
After finishing the bottle of wine, he decided it would be best to wrap up the evening. As I always do, I offer to pay or split, but in the end, he did pay for the date. We hugged at the end of the date with a kiss on the cheek goodnight in front of The Castello Plan. He says let's plan for something soon.
What I could only hope was a decent evening that may lead to an additional date turned out to be a dud. Not only did he not walk me to my car, he did not bother texting me to make sure I got home, Fine. No problem. I'm a tough cookie and can handle the mean streets of Brooklyn better than him. I waited a few days and never received any follow-ups texts or calls. I eventually gave in and texted him one evening to never receive any reply back. I was ghosted! (Yet again.)

Online Serial Dating specifically in NYC has become a cultural norm in this society. People meet on an app like Tinder, JSwipe, Bumble; then meet up in person, have a few drinks, have a few hook-ups (however you would like to define that term) and move onto the next one. WHY? Because, they believe there will be something better. FOMO and YOLO to the nth degree. But, what about the individuals that are using the social dating apps to actually find someone worthwhile to keep for longer than a few drinks in one evening? In NYC, you have to have some tough skin when it comes to rejection. Just know, they are the ones missing out on something good.

A mantra that I have for myself is, "I'm not perfect, but I'm worth it." So, as Jay-Z would put it, "I'm onto the next one."

Besos,

Ilana

Luck of the Irish... I Think Not!

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Three Years Later...Welcome to the New World of Dating!

Hello Blog Followers,

My name is Ilana and the reins to the blog have been passed onto me. The previous ladies have all moved onto a new set of pastures a.k.a "Married Life" and Mazal Tov to them! My sister-in-law who was one of the original bloggers of this page after hearing my dating stories, felt that it would be interesting for others to see, hear, comment, and laugh along with me on my journey of dating in NYC.

Now, as we know, dating in this urban jungle has its ups and downs. We have had our dates from hell, but we also have had some great evenings with some fantastic gentlemen even if they only last a few hours or a few dates. There is a glimpse of hope for us all out there in society to find our soul mates.

A little about me; I graduated from Long Island University-Brooklyn Campus with a PharmD. I have made my niche in the medical information space of the Pharma business and currently looking for some new opportunities to advance my career unless all of sudden this takes off and I become an internet sensation. I am still single but always mingling. You can catch me throughout New York City in all the boroughs and even New Jersey and further abroad. You never know where you will meet your soul mate, so always be ready and armed with your great personality and cute smile.

The past several years have been an amazing journey for me. Besides how I got to the current dating scene and all the juicy stories, I will also share my lifestyle changes I have made to the tactics I have taken on the current social media dating apps as well as some positive outlooks on life we should all have. With that all, I'll throw in some recommendations for yummy restaurants and bars throughout the boroughs to check out with your dates or alone when you need some fun.

Come along on my journey and please share some of yours as well. Any questions you may have, or need of recommendations for yummy food and beverage options I will try to answer to the best that I can. My friends don't call me Zagat and Google for nothing!

Happy Dating!

Ilana