I Love Online Dating...Said No One Ever!

HAPPY MONDAY Ladies (and even Gentlemen),

I stumbled upon this E-card the other day. I knew I had to post it here and tell you about my beginnings in the world of "Serial Dating". It sounds so devious and dirty when the words roll off someone's tongue and the truth of the matter... IT IS!

I will always remember this one particular encounter that I had. It was last summer 2015. I had begun chatting with a guy from OKCupid - "OKC". His name was Alex (or so we will call him such in this post)  He was a Russian-Jewish male 33 years old from Brooklyn and working in finance in the city. (Already checking off the parents wish list!) He initiated the conversation, which I personally like. (Tip for men: Please don't feel shy to initiate conversation. Chivalry and manners are not dead yet.) Though, I'm not opposed to trying to start the conversation. (Tip for ladies: Don't fear rejection! Take the first step, what's the worst that can happen? He doesn't respond? We all know how that feels because we do it to the men quite often. Don't shake your head. I know we all have "Ghosted" someone.)

After several days of online banter on the pathetic OKC messenger, he asked for my number and we began an additional several days of texting. Finally Alex got the courage to ask me out. I was worried with this one. The typical "Russian-Jewish-Brooklynite" only knows his way around Sheepshead Bay and Brighton Beach choosing to take the ladies to their local sushi spot like Mitoushi and Chikurin and calling it a night.(Remind me to fill you in on those dates) Somehow, this lad intrigued me further when he suggested we meet at The Castello Plan on Cortelyou Road. (SHOUT OUT to The Castello Plan: Fabulous date spot for great bites and good wine and cocktails. Click the link to check it out) I had been to this lovely tiny establishment before and was happy to know someone is in the know for cute spots that are perfect to have a conversation without having to always go to Manhattan.

Summertime evenings allow for me to dress in a cute skirt and top and give a little skin without being too revealing. I arrived on time for this date only to receive a text saying he is running late and will be there in 20 minutes. Not the best way to start the date, but I don't judge right off the back. (Maybe Babushka needed some more beets for her borscht) Alex arrives and takes control of the evening. (Something that I very much like in a man) He chooses for us to sit outdoors in the small side patio and orders a bottle of white wine. It was a refreshing Sauvignon Blanc from New Zealand. As the bottle arrives, we talk about personal life and ambitions. The usual banter of retelling my life story gets eventually a little dull, but I always do my best to keep the stories lite and intriguing giving plenty of time for a good back and forth shuffling of storytelling. We people watch the ever changing Midwood neighborhood and make some interesting remarks about where did all these Non-Brooklynites come from and how they have reinvigorated a dead neighborhood into something substantial.
After finishing the bottle of wine, he decided it would be best to wrap up the evening. As I always do, I offer to pay or split, but in the end, he did pay for the date. We hugged at the end of the date with a kiss on the cheek goodnight in front of The Castello Plan. He says let's plan for something soon.
What I could only hope was a decent evening that may lead to an additional date turned out to be a dud. Not only did he not walk me to my car, he did not bother texting me to make sure I got home, Fine. No problem. I'm a tough cookie and can handle the mean streets of Brooklyn better than him. I waited a few days and never received any follow-ups texts or calls. I eventually gave in and texted him one evening to never receive any reply back. I was ghosted! (Yet again.)

Online Serial Dating specifically in NYC has become a cultural norm in this society. People meet on an app like Tinder, JSwipe, Bumble; then meet up in person, have a few drinks, have a few hook-ups (however you would like to define that term) and move onto the next one. WHY? Because, they believe there will be something better. FOMO and YOLO to the nth degree. But, what about the individuals that are using the social dating apps to actually find someone worthwhile to keep for longer than a few drinks in one evening? In NYC, you have to have some tough skin when it comes to rejection. Just know, they are the ones missing out on something good.

A mantra that I have for myself is, "I'm not perfect, but I'm worth it." So, as Jay-Z would put it, "I'm onto the next one."

Besos,

Ilana